THE YEAR I DIED (sort of)

The past year plus of my life has been fraught with pain and confusion the likes of which no one should ever have to endure. The bringer of this painful season is not one that can be seen. He had this planned years in advance. He had been putting the pieces in place since my childhood. His plan for my life, as it is with all human life, is destruction; the destruction of love and faith for generations to come.  But his plan has failed. To onlookers it may seem like our enemy succeeded but this victory can only be seen by close inspection of the hearts involved. 

This pain, confusion, frustration and despair has only caused Love to grow in my heart. Through this horrible time I have learned to trust more and depend more on The One my heart desires.

I see anger and fear erupting in other's souls as they continue to struggle with and try to fix this situation, but peace has begun to rule in my soul and spirit.

I was finally able to receive this unexplainable peace when I stopped seeing the "human element" as the problem and started seeing the spiritual element. This is not a flesh and blood issue, this is an issue with the enemy of our souls. (Ephesians 6:12)

Many say "Yeah, but human decision was involved." Yes it was. Human decision is a wonderful gift from God; free will to choose to follow God and love Him willingly or not. Take that away and we are no longer what He created us to be.

So yes, it has been the absolute worst year of my life. But in true God fashion it has also been the year that He was more real and closer to me than ever before. While I wish things could have been different, I wouldn't trade the lessons I've learned nor the closeness I have felt with my Abba for anything.

For the first time I feel a kinship with so many of my Bible heroes who, until now, have been like stories of people I could never really be like.  

Joseph and I went through some bad stuff that was meant to destroy us, but God used it for our good and His glory! The recipients of James' letter and I were going through trials that produced patience and we will be complete lacking nothing. Paul and I thought we were going to die, but through our near death experience we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely on God who raises the dead. We were rescued from mortal danger.*

Through all of this Joseph, the Jewish Christians, Paul and I want you to know something. If we can make it so can you!

We were rescued and given this amazing peace because we trusted God; we learned to rely on Him. Since we placed our confidence in God, He will continue to rescue us!

Life gets downright vicious sometimes but when it does, fix your focus on God. God has always been in love with you and will relentlessly pursue you with a mercy, grace, peace and love the likes of which EVERYONE should get to endure.  

*Read Joseph's story starting in Genesis 37.

*Read the book of James to see the struggle of the Jewish Christians he was writing to.

*Read 2 Corinthians 1 (especially 8-11) for encouragement from one of Paul's near death encounters.